Beauty and the Boeing

Fact: since the demise of the transatlantic ocean liners, there aren't any really stylish ways to travel these days. Well, there's the Orient Express of course. If you're going to Istanbul, that is. The closest you can get to the luxurities and pampering of the past is, of course, flying. The airport is one of few places that looks fairly alike wherever you are on this planet. And that special airport ambience, with its sober and suave announcements over the PA ("final call for UppersAir flight UR 888 to Reykjavik and Boston, leaving from gate 57"), exciting modernist architecture and the mandatory bunch of drunken Japanese businessmen by the bar - you won't find that at your local train or bus station.

And when embarked, just relax and hit that little stewardess button and she will bring you gin&tonic, peanuts and, well, more gin&tonic through your entire flight. You don't have to move an inch, everything is brought to you (except for bedpans). And they call you Sir! Of course, I'm talking about regularly scheduled flights here. The whole charter scene is a completely different chapter and is best left uncommented.

But no flying without airplanes. And yes, the Boeing 747 Jumbo Jet is a big one, but its not the most stylish airliner ever made. These ten, on the other hand, are. Most are sadly taken out of traffic due to age, but if you for some reason find yourself travelling in Africa or South America, chances are that you may stumble upon a should-be-retired-long-ago-but-ain´t Caravelle. OK, here goes, the ten most stylish commercial airliners of the 20th century.

1. Sud-Est Caravelle (France)

Well you can't beat the French, now can you? The Caravelle was a pioneer among jet-powered airliners making its debut flight in May 1955. Its revolutionary placing of the engines at the back of the fuselage made the cabin very quiet compared to other aircraft's of the time. And it sure is a beauty. With its clean, rounded forms and the characteristic triangle-shaped windows, the Caravelle surely stands out as the logic follower to Le Corbusier's functionalist and modernist architecture. Vive le France!

2. Aerospatiale/BAC Concorde (France/United Kingdom)

Again with the French! This time teamed up with the British to construct the only supersonic commercial airliner still in use today. If the mod lifestyle to you is about a fast-paced lifestyle and a lot of, er, speed, then start saving up for a (really expensive) ticket. Scrambled eggs in London, a three-martini lunch in New York and back in London for some afternoon tea. That's what Mach 2 enables you to do. The Concorde is unique, with its delta wing otherwise only found on military aircraft and its pointy noise which makes the plane look rather cocky. "Don't mess with me, I'm the Concorde and I'll kick your ass!" Or something like that.

3. Lockheed Constellation (USA)

No doubt the Constellation is the finest piston-engined commercial airliner ever made. Enjoying enormous success in the late 40s and early 50s, it was bridging the gap between the modified WW2 bombers used for passenger traffic directly after the war and the first jet airliners making their debuts in the mid 50s. The Constellation had a streamlined fuselage and a characteristic triple tail that made it stand out among the other aircrafts of the time. With a cruise speed of 336 mph (557 km/h) it was a fast and comfortable ride, with the cabin often decorated and fitted with a lounge where drinks and small talk could be enjoyed.

4. de Havilland Comet (United Kingdom)

Being the first jet-powered passenger aircraft in commercial traffic, the Comet entered service in January 1952. Slender fuselage and engines built into the wing made the Comet a designers choice. However, form follows function and the Comet didn't function all that well. After a couple of spectacular crashes with the Comet I resulting in severe casualties, the aircraft was banned from flying until the reason for these crashes was discovered. Metal fatigue caused by vibrations was the cause and by the time the improved and non-hazardous Comet II and III made their debut flights the Americans had taken over the flag with the superior Boeing 707 and the Douglas DC-8. The Comet didn't enjoy much success, but especially the Comet IV with its oval windows is still a beauty. The RAF still uses some modified Comets for surveillance tasks.

5. Bristol Brabazon (United Kingdom)

The Brabazon shouldn't really be on this list. Only one was ever built, and the Brabazon qualifies in the same league as Howard Hughes classic Spruce Goose and, for that matter, trip hop. Looks good on paper but the final product is a disaster. Named after "the father of British aviation", Lord Brabazon of Tara, the Brabazon was a monster, weighing 145 tons but only carrying 80 passengers. Driven by eight propeller engines, the Brabazon had a hard time even getting off the runway. In fact, before the Brabazon could fly the runway had to be extended, houses razed and a road had to be diverted. The Brabazon was later cut up and sold as scrap iron. It looked really cool though, all metal shimmery and a kick-ass pylon in the nose.

6. Convair Coronado (USA)

Again one of those planes that didn't hit it big time, but is oh so sweet for us style/airliner aficionados. It looks like a souped up Boeing 707 or Douglas DC-8 at first look. A slim fuselage and four jet engines, the Convair company owes Boeing and Douglas some. But the Coronado was faster, doing 990 km/h where its equivalents only could manage a mere 900 km/h. And it looks meaner too, kind of like a Californian lowrider. An aircraft with attitude. And Elvis owned one! Customised to fit the King's every need, from peanut butter, jelly and bacon subs to, well, peanut butter, jelly and bacon subs.

7. Ilyushin Il-62 (U.S.S.R.)

Russian plane-crafting was much like the Swedish pop wonder is today. Drawing inspiration (and copying) from other countries and making something new out of it. Sadly, the Russian planes was inferior to its inspirational sources as well as Swedish popular music in general sounds crap compared to the bands that inspired them. But, hey, even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day and with the Ilyushin Il-62 our eastern comrades succeeded in making a plane that actually stood up to its obvious inspiration, the British Vickers VC10. The Ilyushin Il-62 was designed as a long-range aircraft with four jet engines mounted in pairs on each side of the rear fuselage. By placing the engines in the rear, the cabin noise was reduced and the plane gained lots of designer points. Don't know if I'd want to fly with one of the many Ilyushins still operational in Russia's no. 1 airline Aeroflot though. Vodka and lime mix. Vodka and underpaid pilots doesn't...

8. Airbus A340 (European)

Wide-body aircrafts are seldom nice to look at. The Boeing 747 is impressive, but isn't especially suave. The A340, on the other hand, is. Comfortable and very quiet, and with an albeit not stunning but still eyepleasing exterior, it is my favourite among the new generation of jumbo jets. I had the pleasure of travelling with Lufthansa from Frankfurt to Dubai in one of these bad boys and I must say it was among one of the most pleasant flights I've ever enjoyed. It may have something to do with being upgraded from Economy to Business Class, but still. The A340 is probably the best long-range airliner available today. Just waiting for that Airbus A3XX Super Jumbo, with its lounges, casinos and (hopefully) DJ´s spinning that sweet sweet airliner funk...

9. Boeing 377 Stratocruiser (USA)

The yet to be constructed A3XX in all respect, but it isn't the first lounge airliner to hit the skies. The Boeing company, being responsible for the infamous B-29 bomber, decided to transform its design after the WW2 ended. The result being the Stratocruiser. A giant, propellerdriven equivalent to the Atlantic seacruisers of the time, the Stratocruiser had it all in terms of comfort. Family travel compartment in the front and a lower-level lounge with a softly-lit compartment decorated with rich fabrics and leather to suggest a fine club, the Stratocruiser was the connoisseurs choice at the time. Let's hope the A3XX does the same for future travel enjoyment.

10. SAAB 2000 (Sweden)

Seinfeld drives a SAAB. Fleksnes (a 70s Norwegian comedian, very popular in Norway and Sweden) got in a big fight when in one episode visiting a dentist. Which Swedish car did the Saint drive? The dentist says "Volvo P1800". Fleksnes answers "Volvo Sonett. Italian." (Sonett being SAABs not-so-successful answer to the P1800 back in the 60s). The dentist then uses all his dental equipment trying to persuade Fleksnes about the P1800. But SAAB also make aircrafts, being the backbone in the Swedish neutrality concept making jet fighters like the 35 Draken, the 37 Viggen and most recently the 39 Gripen. The SAAB 2000 was a follow-up to the SAAB 340, a short-range turboprop airliner. The 2000 didn't create a stir like its predecessor, though. Only a handful were built, but for a propeller-driven aircraft it looks really good, with a stretched fuselage and great speed (between 700 and 800 km/h). SAS owns one. So request the SAAB 2000 next time you're visiting Scandinavia, I urge you!

Comments:

the professor	jan 21 2003 3:10AM

I particularly enjoyed seeing the Bristol Brabazon in there. Usually regarded as a costly failure, it pioneered modern ideas such as air-turbulence detecting radar (and an automatic stabilising system) and the lessons learned about metal-fatigue proved to be very useful in the development of the V-Bombers (though sadly not the Comet). There are other planes that would've changed the face of air travel had they entered production- the Saro Princess jet-powered flying boat, the Avro Atlantic (a passenger version of Britain's cold-war Spitfire, the Vulcan bomber), the Fairey Rotordyne (a spectacular jet-powered helicopter).All these ideas were tested, some were seen by the public at the SBAC airshows at Farnborough during the 50's and early 60's. Perhaps the most stylish idea, sadly never flown, was an M-winged supersonic transport first proposed following wind tunnel tests by Barnes-Wallis (he of the Bouncing Bomb). But for a lack of vision by the British government in the 50's (damn you, Duncan Sandys) these graceful craft would've been circling over Swinging London, whilst the Avro 740 supersonic bomber, the BAC TSR-2 strike aircraft (in my opinion the most stylish warplane ever) and the Hawker P.1154 vertical take-off air defence fighter kept the Red Hordes at bay...

Leonardo	dec 27 2001 12:05AM

Vintage Aeroplanes are my first love and seeing an article on both my true passions, Mod and Airplanes, is truely a merge I thought I'd never see in one article. To make a long story short the reason why I bought a Piaggio first over other makes is because they made airplanes during the war. Aircraft manufactures don't have the luxery of making aircraft that are flawed, losing valuable test piolts and the public trust can be devistating....just take the Comet for example! Cheers and thanks again, Leonardo

John R	maj 28 2001 3:50PM

Man this is a good read. A job well done Krasten!

Evangelisti	maj 26 2001 3:48AM

Prue Mod, class article, "jet set"...........Perth, Australia calling! keep the faith.......the standard.

Brian Poust	maj 24 2001 6:48PM
http://www.uppers.net

Outstanding article! Very classy indeed.

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